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The Barge Arse Runner; "Runner Envy" #ChasingFitnessStory

September 25, 2016 2 Comments

Now there comes a time in every runner's life, when “Runner Envy” rears its head.

Let me set the scene.....imagine a beautiful sunset, on the brow of a hill, and in the distance, right ahead of you comes a tall, lean gazelle like female, blonde ponytail swinging in the wind, her lithe torso clad in fluorescent pink lycra, and a broad white smile on her face. Everything seems to be in slow mo, poetry in motion. I will refer to her only, as the pink gazelle.

This sublime being is my neighbour and friend. The perfect running machine, winner of many a half marathon and triathlon, mother of three, all round good egg, lovely lady.

In stark contrast then, coming in the other direction, is me.

Sweating profusely, red in the face, wheezing, huffing and puffing, looking for all the world like a burst tyre in lycra. Oh the cruel reality of it. I can only liken it to standing next to a supermodel on the red carpet, you in your jimjams with the mother of a cold, you get the idea.

This phenomenon I have named “Runner Envy”.

We have a brief chat, the gazelle and I, between my gasps for breath and her swigging water, about how far she's been today.  Her reply is always "Oh, only 8 miles on this run, I'm a bit tired. How about you?" I can only stare back at her, open mouthed and mutter something she can't really hear which faintly resembles "Oh errrr two ish" . We say our farewell and I shuffle off into the distance like a slug through marmite.

How much would I love to be just like this athletic goddess? I'd gladly give up cheese for all eternity, and sell my soul. Er, hold on, actually, I honestly don't think I could do the cheese bit.

But joking aside, this made me realise just how very different we all are. On race days, you see a vast array of people, all shapes and sizes, varying in fitness levels, and such a wide variety of running techniques. But we all unite on one thing, we all love to run.

So the next time you are slogging up that hill feeling sweaty and knackered, just remember that it really doesn't matter what you look like, or how long it might take you. The most important thing is that you are out there doing it, taking part. Give yourself a pat on the back, and just maybe a sneaky chocolate or two ;-) .

Like always, we encourage you to comment and interact with Allie's blog, below.

2 Responses


September 25, 2016

Thanks Kaz for your very kind words. Yes I think we’ve all encountered these wonderful beings and wanted to be just like them! They’re amazing athletes. But just the fact that you get out there and do your best is brilliant.


September 25, 2016

Fantastic blog Allie ! I think we have all met or seen one of these visions of perfection whilst out on a walk or run and wish we could morph into that lean mean running machine. Well your right you just have to do what’s right for you with the goal to improve your fitness level.

Super witty blog, can’t wait for next weeks instalment.

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